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Mary Beth Lawler Art Blog

Two Tranquilizers

by marybeth , March 9, 2009—04:47 PM

Topics: healing

Last week the phone rang at 7:30 am and the caller id said it was my brother. First thing in my head "What's wrong?" To my relief he was calling to tell me that his most recent MRI showed the lung cancer had not returned. Whew!! A couple of days later I went for my first post surgical mammogram. I am not usually apprehensive but this time I was a wreck. I thought it would be painful but it wasn't. So I relaxed a little. I'm in my cubicle waiting for the high sign, when I get called in for another set. Now I'm ready to throw up. Back to my cubicle to wait. Still another set only this time on the left. The two tranquilizers I took before I left home were doing me no good at all. I was in adrenalin overdrive. The technician was very reassuring but it wasn't reassuring me. Good God woman, give it to me straight! What is it? Back to my cubicle. Finally...all clear, you can go. It was only 10:30 in the morning but I needed a drink. The apprehension will never go away. People ask me how long have you been a survivor? I don't know, when do you start counting? After surgery, after treatment? It was a year ago I had surgery and I am still here, so we'll call it a year.





03/10/2009 * 18:59:29

Hi Mary, I understand what you are saying. I am a survivor too. Its been 18 years for one cancer [http://the right side] and 6 years for the left side. Everytime it comes to mamograms each year--I am nervous also. So, keep your chin up, and each year count your blessing when it is ok. My cancers were different in each breast. I am happy to be alive. God is good. You are a wonderful person and I admire you. Millie


  ArtId Staff ( homepage )

03/09/2009 * 18:30:35

BRAVO, Mar! I love that you live your life in color - never black and white. I admire your strength, courage, enthusiasm and beautiful new locks of hair. I am so lucky to call you my friend.


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