Lynne Hurd Bryant Art Blog
The time from May 2009 forward is a time of a lot of firsts for me. They are my first steps into the art world. My first art-related website, my first gallery, my first sales in a many years, my first greeting card printing, my first framed pieces and now, my first grown up art show.
The last time I had a show was in high school. I entered the Jefferson County High School show and I had a large acrylic landscape on canvas that hung at the Arvada Center in Arvada, Colorado.
Artists Association of Northern Colorado is the current show I am entering. I sent my paperwork and images for jury consideration for entry into the show. I am trying not to hear that "fizzling" sound that is usually followed by a "splat" as I fall flat on my face. My mentor with Art on Mountain told me I really needed to try for this show, but she can't hear the fizzle and as I am adult, she doesn't believe I still practice frequent horizontal facial maneuvers.
Of course, when I sent in the paperwork for Art on Mountain Gallery, I thought I heard instant rejection, a fizzling and sucking sound and I braced myself for planting my face. The fizzle and sucking turned out to be me as I sipped a Dr. Pepper and far from falling on my face, I had to wipe the egg off. This time around, will I need a napkin or a band-aid?
I also have to remember that the person who is instantly rejecting nearly every piece is me.
I have not taken painting seriously for a full year, not yet. I have moments where I feel sorry for myself that I am not the painter I want to be and at this point, possibly never will be. Other times, I keep pushing forward and try to embrace the painter that I am. I am too close to my own work, and I often miss what others see in it. Before you think that some of this is defeatist, consider that I have a birthday this month. With 50 no longer on the horizon and here at my feet, I am not sure what strides are yet to be made. There is a magic that middle-aged women can harness and call their own. I am blessed with that magic, but can I wave The Wand of Wisdom and be what I want to be? In art and in life.
Art is truly a journey, not a destination. Life is truly a journey, not a destination. The trick is, I think, to notice the scenery along the way and stop at places on the path that are interesting and meaningful. It is trying to figure out what is an important rest stop and what is a waste of time that causes me so much grief. I worried less about whether something was a meaningless detour when I was younger. I feel as though I have wasted so much time that every step of the path has to be carefully chosen, and this at a time when the path is no clearer than it was 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 30 years ago.
I know I must sound negative and that I worry too much, over think my life, not to mention my art. In my own defense, I would tell you this sort of deeper thought is only possible because it is balancing the other side of the equation. I have let so much joy in, so many blissful hours with a brush, that when I am serious I am extremely serious. When I paint, I am young, the sun is shining and I feel like carefree child again. When I contemplate, I am a wise older woman who hates drama and enjoys the hidden corners of her mind that are hers exclusively.
Who knew that alizurin crimson could provoke such thoughts? But, it did. Let me paint some bright greens and I'll get to back to you.